I have not spent a lot of time in my life thinking about the Rosie O’Donnell question, but no president has put his finger on it as clearly and forcefully as Donald J. Trump.

Rosie O’Donnell is, he wrote late one recent night, a “Threat to Humanity.”

That’s strong stuff. Right up there with Russian drones, flash floods, wildfires, COVID-19, Iran and whatever is happening in Gaza. Maybe even the Epstein files, which surely don’t have any embarrassing information about you-know-who. Count on it.

When I first heard about the O’Donnell declaration, I thought it might be a spoof, or misinformation cooked up by clever Canadians. They have hoodwinked us all these years with their friendly manners and support in war and peace. They have practically seceded from the union, since their rightful place is as our 51st state.

But Fox News, reliable in matters of national security, confirmed it was real. They reported that Trump posted this on Truth Social: “Because of the fact that Rosie O’Donnell is not in the best interests of our Great Country, I am giving serious consideration to taking away her Citizenship.”

So-called experts say the president has no such power, but in an emergency of this magnitude, who can predict the outcome of U.S. v. O’Donnell? Surely Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito can cite writings of the Founding Fathers, who had nothing nice to say about O’Donnell. Therefore, ipso facto, in media res, habeas corpus and Federalist Papers 45 and 47 — yeah, sure, give her the boot.

Trump made clear the matter is urgent. “She is a Threat to Humanity, and should remain in the wonderful Country of Ireland, if they want her. GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

Not even Winston Churchill could say it better! We will fight Rosie O’Donnell on the beaches. We will fight her in the fields and on the streets. We will fight her on the streaming services. No Rosie O’Donnell comedy specials, ever!

For those who’ve lost track, Rosie O’Donnell, comedian and former talk show host, has taken up residence in the Emerald Isle, far from Trump and his America great-makers. She claims folks there are showering her with kindness and warmth. Well, sure, the Irish are inclined to like people named “Rosie” or “O’Donnell.” Her people came from County Donegal which in certain pubs would be like having the keys to the city.

I’ve visited Ireland twice and their accents are lovely and if they hear you are from America they will tell you they have cousins in Boston or New York and you may have met them. Lucky you if you have.

The Irish can be feisty, though. I just read that the late actress Maureen O’Hara, a true fireball, held up her U.S. citizenship hearing when she refused to confirm she was a “subject” of Britain. (She was born before Ireland won independence.) You might recall that O’Hara held her own against John Wayne in “The Quiet Man.” And so it was in court, where the judge surrendered.

How O’Donnell endangers America and all we hold near and dear is difficult to discern, since I don’t have the investigative powers of what is left of the CIA or the National Security Administration.

Still, I imagine they can dig up something.

Don’t get me wrong. I have never been a particular fan of Ms. O’Donnell. Her voice is like a loud one you might overhear on a city bus. She can be funny. She can be annoying. I don’t imagine she would care that I think she can be annoying, so kudos to her.

She was OK in “A League of Their Own,” in which she played third basewoman Doris Murphy. I don’t recall that she said anything un-American, although all I remember is Tom Hanks saying, “There’s no crying in baseball.” I don’t know. The Red Sox have sometimes nearly brought me to tears.

The question for us in the Upper Valley is whether we should give her safe haven if she returns to America. Well, of course. Maybe hold a little parade, with free tacos.

The issue at hand is the legal power of presidential nonsense, which has risen in prominence and velocity. Abraham Lincoln indulged in a long-running feud with funnyman Ambrose “Kooky” Bierce. He was such a joker he could hardly keep his mind on the Civil War. But those were simpler times.

O’Donnell isn’t laughing this off. In response to Trump she posted: “He is a dangerous old soulless man with dementia who lacks empathy, compassion and basic humanity.” In certain countries around the world, disrespecting the supreme leader can get you into serious trouble.

Not so here, right?

Dan Mackie lives in West Lebanon. He can be reached at dan.mackie@yahoo.com.